"The only time some fellows are ever seen with their wives is after they've been indicted."

"Never get married while you're going to college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake."

"Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you."

"Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while."

"Everything comes to him who waits but a loaned book."

"It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed."

"A really companionable and indispensable dog is an accident of nature. You can't get it by breeding and you can't buy it with money. It just happens along."

"People take different roads seeking fullfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."

"I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them."

"Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone."

"Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money."

"A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5 and ends giving $5 worth for $500."