"When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves."

"It happens fast for some people and slow for some, accidents or gravity, but we all end up mutilated."

"Masochism is a valuable job skill."

"With a gun stuck in your mouth and the barrel of the gun between your teeth, you can only talk in vowels."

"We just had a near-life experience!"

"You can't base your life on the past or the present. You have to tell me about your future."

"Baloney is the lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it."

"Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?"

"Great minds have purposes, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them."

"Creationist critics often charge that evolution cannot be tested, and therefore cannot be viewed as a properly scientific subject at all. This claim is rhetorical nonsense."

"The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, 'It's a girl.'"

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world."